Thank you for that Mr. Juelz Santana. Your flawless use of the logical faculty never fails to impress.
So you see, because one of Cuba’s main exports is cigars, he names his lady friend Cigar.
I, on the other hand, call my girl Electronic Transistor because she is from Thailand. Has that catchy ring to it.
Juelz Santana (b. 1983), poet, philosopher and thinker extraordinaire. This is his mugshot.
From the song Beamer, Benz or Bentley by Juelz Santana and Lloyd Banks.
“Got yo’ grandma on my dick”
There’s a great song called Rack City by Tyga. And by great I mean annoying and repetitive. But I don’t have a problem with that. Last time I tried singing, my neighbor sent me a letter asking me to never try that again (seriously). My problem with this one is a single line which stands out amongst other ones (which aren’t much better, admittedly). Tyga claims to have YOUR grandmother on his dick. Who would even think of that? HOW do you think that up? This has got to be the most useless boast in rap history. What the hell are you proving - you’re ability to charm the shit out of 70 year olds? Impressive.
BUT, on a brighter note - it did spawn this absolutely incredible reaction video, which got more views than the actual music video.
Try and ignore that thing moving strangely in the foreground and focus on the grandma’s moves. Also make sure you stare awkwardly when the kid lip-syncs the line I mentioned above and points at his grandma at 0:33. Yeah.
I am not sure how I feel about the combination of a tight-fitting suit and white air forces (or any other white shoes actually). Actually scratch that. I do know how I feel about it. Please don’t do it.
I have a hard time imagining the events described by this poor brave soul. If his narration is to be believed, he claims to have stood at various lobbies of hood-themed hotels while experiencing orgasms. So far, so good (or.. weird, I guess).
The problem emerges when our dear protagonist decides to share with us his choice of clothes for the occasion: long johns (the vaguely socially-unacceptable leggings for men) and even stranger - three pairs of socks. Not two. Not four. Three. I guess because he is really cold. Or really high. Whatever works.
This is how Google defines Long-Johns. Not pictured: 3 pairs of socks; acid.
Ice-T in a song which features E-40, makes fun of the latter in his own verse. While describing how they are in a club, everyone is drinking and having a good time meanwhile good ol’ E-40 is having himself a nap. So fine, I can live with that. Maybe he has had a busy day. Maybe he’s had a long session in the gym.
Though he probably didn’t.
I am not judging. But how the HELL do you compare the individual with whom you are meant to be making a song, with A PLATE? Is he white? Does he get thrown around during arguments? Someone help me out with this one.